It's Ridiculous How Enough You Are! THE INNER CRITIC

Do you ever feel like you just hate yourself?

For something you might have said to someone or something you did in a certain situation?

You're not alone! We're just human beings who feel like we need to strive higher and higher - that's in all aspects of life; parenting, career, education, relationships, etc. 

The list can go on forever!

I have been studying a little about the Inner Critic that we all have inside of us.

I thought I'd share some insights and thoughts, which hopefully will help those struggling kill the judgmental side of them.

Firstly, none of us is perfect. We're all complex and we're all unique to ourselves. There is NOBODY out there who's exactly the same as you. Just take a breath and say that out loud x 3. 

'I AM MY UNIQUE SELF. THERE'S NOBODY OUT THERE LIKE ME'

So what if we screw up? 

Everybody does, that's the nature of us. Our brains have a rational side of it and the part which is highly emotional and reacts instantly without thinking first.

Imagine that we are all rational thinkers, without the instant 'fight or fly' response guiding us out of danger- not many people would survive!

If a lion walks into your house, would you sit there wondering how it got in and that he's not allowed in because he's not a member of your household?

No! Your response would be to run, grab your children and protect everyone!

With rational thinking only, we'd be extinct. 

So now that I've given some credit to the emotional and irrational side of our brains, let's talk about another aspect and source of our INNER CRITIC.

A high majority of it takes root in our lives from early childhood and is watered and fed by these four factors :

1- your personal background

2- your previous experiences

3- the company you keep

4- the media

Realising how and why we're beating ourselves up about something that has happened 10 years ago is so important in order for us to move on. 

Whatever it is that's living in your mind and won't leave, doesn't necessarily have to be something YOU did. It can be something another person has done and it affected you.

Do you struggle with your money mindset?

Think back to early years and try to remember the mindset your parents had about money.

Were the lines you've heard something like... 'money doesn't grow on trees?' or 'this is too expensive' or maybe 'when you grow up and go to work, you'll see how hard it is to earn money'?

I totally have heard all of those and more! Working on my money mindset has been so cleansing and miraculous, I'd love to share it in another blog post. 

Let me know if you'd be interested!

Inner Critic Language.

Typical things we would think or say to ourselves:

'I must...'

'I should...'

'I'm always getting it wrong...'

'How could I have been so stupid?'

 &

'Why didn't you...'

'That's so typical of you...'

'Do you really think people want to know or hear about that?'

'Just stop it'

It isn't, however just what you say to yourself, it's the emotions, visions and feelings that you attach to those phrases that change everything. 

We critisize ourselves so easily, it becomes a habit. An unhealthy one.

By recognizing it and seeing it as something that has been influenced upon us is the first step to moving on and progressing.

Change the habit.

Swap it out for a healthy and mindful habit that you can benefit from for the rest of your life.

Don't fall into the trap of your Inner Critic stopping you from visiting areas where you have failed previously. Learn to be your own coach, who inspires you to grow, overcome fears and fills you up with incredible amounts of lessons.

How to start off the journey of changing from Inner Critic to Inner Coach?

Start asking yourself questions that will help engage your rational brain.

Examples:

1- Where is this issue on a scale of 1-10 (where 10=death)?

2- How important will this be in 6 months time?

3- Is my response appropriate and effective?

4- How can I improve and influence the situation?

5- What can I learn from this?

6- What will I do differently next time?

7. What can I find that's positive in this situation?

There's nothing extremely special about these questions. It's the answers that hold the magic and successful results within!

Hope this has been somewhat helpful and everyone is focusing on themselves and their mind health during the current times 💓

Love and peace xo

Photo by me for Boys By Girls magazine